Brother Maximo,

Have you ever thought about why the chainsaw is always out of gas?

I've always put more faith in my sawed-off shotgun than any god. No divine being intervened when my old country got nuked and we had to live like savages, murdering each other to get the papayas we needed to survive. If there's a hell, it was surely there, not some mythical place where you get poked with a fork by some guy in a red jumpsuit.

I like to leave justice to man-to-man combat, which is the way nature intended it. I've found it tends to work best in some sort of semi-spherical structure and that you should never try to use the chainsaw, it's almost always out of gas.

Sister Victoria,

As the sole representative - I assume, no offense intended to any servants of the Lord working incognito - of the powers of the Divine, I can assure you that we do not, how did you put it, "double-speak." That rhetorical manipulation is solely reserved for the minions of the diabolical.

If you have truly been misled by any such creatures of Darkness, I implore you to cleanse your soul and offer up your sins to the Lord. As I am but an Angel - and not myself Divine, as is our Lord - I cannot say whether this has been the case. The true state of your soul is between you and the Lord. I can but speak the Truth as I perceive it, erroneous though it may sometimes be.

Should you wish the honest assistance of a humble Angel in your endeavors to reconcile yourself with the Lord, I am of course at your service.

Should you be a pious and saintly virgin, I may have more to speak with you about, and would be much obliged if you would avail yourself to me.

I am so tired of angels and demons and their double-speak and promises that never come true. I am happy our republic has seen fit to give this scientist fellow a chance. Scientists say what they mean, don't they and they have all the best poisons, right? In the meantime, my husband is recently deceased. Just throwing that out there, for anyone rich, powerful, and sensitive to arsenic lonely.

Brother Stefano,

I hope that you embrace this opportunity given to you by the Lord to do Right and Justly by the people of this Anointed Republic. Since they have chosen you as their leader, I can only assume that it is the Lord's Will that you be so.

While I am skeptical of the illusions of technology and science, it seems that the Lord of Hosts will permit its use to better His chosen Republic. I can only hope that this is a sign of your good nature, Brother Stefano, and not a test from the Lord (as was the great Fish).

I confess that the Lord did not share His Will with me regarding this election; and while I believed El Santo would be a more holy candidate, even Angels are fallible and may be misled by mortal wiles.

I shall always endeavor to do the Lord's Good Work, and will seek to help spread Peace and Prosperity under a Halconero presidency as I would have under El Santo.

Transcript: Friends, you have chosen well to put your trust in me. Since we do not yet have the funds to rebuild the Chamber of Deputies, my friends in LUMP have kindly offered the use of our bunker for the use of Cabinet meetings. If you will be so kind as to bring extra chairs, Cat Lady, for any of your feline friends who wish to attend our meetings, hopefully that will make things easier on our allergic friend Gabriel, if only by giving them alternative seating. I have been speaking privately to many of you already, but if we have been unable to come to an agreement up to this time, please set aside some time to discuss how we should best put your talents to the use of the Republic. Senor Santo, Gabriel, Channel, and El Quinto: I'm glad to be able to put the past behind us, and hope that this can be the start of a fruitful administration with your cooperation.

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El Presidente

Stefano Halconero plays Christian Democrats Influence, garnering an additional 5 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.
El Santo plays Radicals Influence, garnering an additional 3 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.
The Cat Lady plays Bankers Influence, garnering an additional 7 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.
Lord Tywin Lannister plays Conservatives Influence, garnering an additional 8 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.
Lord Tywin Lannister plays Peasants Influence, garnering an additional 3 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.
Archangel Gabriel plays Environmentalists Influence, garnering an additional 5 votes in the Chamber of Deputies.

Brother Average,

You seem confused by the concept of deity. The Lord of Hosts is no mere mortal lordling demanding feudal fealty or petty tribute. The Lord of All is He who created All Things, who breathed life into existence and hung light in the stars. He is the Creator and shall be the Destroyer at the End of Days. He is to be loved not out of fear or the obligations of law, but because He is the origin of all Goodness. He cannot be emulated.

Indeed, Brother Average, you seem to have confused the pathetic mortal claims to power made by such as Senor Halconero with the true power and Glory of the Lord. Alas, I understand how this is so and have seen the false glimmers of technology seduce even the most astute of mortal minds. But I who am of the first-born Children of the Lord cannot be ensnared by the illusions of science or technology or politics, and it is for that reason that the Lord has sent me to guide his beloved human children as best I can.

Now, Brother Average, if there is a virgin among your family, I may have a message for her from the Lord - and you shall be able to witness for yourself the miracles of His love.

So, just to be clear (sorry, my grasp on the language isn't perfect and I'm a little new here), someone is just leaving a teleoptoscope on near the microphone, yes? It's all a little overwhelming and as an ordinary Jose I need things to be crystal clear.

At any rate, to facilitate the clear exchange of upcoming information, I should reiterate that Senor Halconero is the kind of leader me and my family would approve of. His intellect seems servicable enough for the task at hand and while his physical condition is mildly unfortunate, I am not aware of any duties of the job which will require physical action.

Also, if I am not mistaken his assistant's physical appearance corresponds with the dominant characteristics of beauty among modern human culture, correct? She makes us ordinary men desire to breed with her, is that not correct?

Finally, I am interested in learning more about this "lord," Gabriel. Are you involved in some sort of feudal relationship with him? I am not entirely familiar with the concept of "god"--we didn't have that where I come from. I was under the impression that feudal society was frowned upon. Is this not correct? If it is permitted in some circumstances, what circumstances are these? How can such an arrangement be made? Do those who serve lords ever rebel? If so are the rebellions violent and/or successful? What sort of technology is traditionally used for quelling such insurrections while minimizing damage to the oppressed populations?

Such information would be of great interest to my family members at home, although I, mere ordinary Jose that I am, have no use for it myself.