Guten Menschen, as a newcomer to the Republic of Papayas, I extend my heartfelt sympathies to all of you on the loss of your leader Ortega. It is my worry that I know too little about the, how you say, way of life in the Republic to serve to good affect as your Presidente. Darum, I will listen with care and hope to learn more of your ways. Danke schoen.

Now I may have just walked out of a mineshaft without a strong idea of what my own name is, but I'll be damned if I let this country fall to the Goddamned commies! The late Presidente, God rest his soul, appointed me General without a second look because he saw in me a leader, by golly!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Cabinet, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing. But it is necessary now to make a choice, to chose between two admittedly game-changing, nevertheless distinguishable post-Ortega environments: one where you get a wholly mismanaged shambles of a nation, and the other where I am in charge!

Compadres- this is a difficult time for us all. With the love we felt in our hearts for the dearly departed Ortega weighing on us, we must make a difficult decision. The peas.....People, Yes, the PEOPLE cry out for a steady hand to lead them! I believe I am that steady hand, and so I humbly assert that only I am capable of leading the nation into the 21st century as it should be. Just as my ancestors have guided the workers on their land for the last ten generations.

Truly, my compatriots, the passing of El Presidente Ortega was a very difficult time. Not just on one man, but on all. It is with a heavy heart, that I must ask the members of the Chamber of Deputies to proceed with electing his successor.

No I am not scared, and neither should you be! The Chamber is composed principally of loyal, true devotees of the Papayan way of life. Be assured. The Republic is safe, protected. But we must act swiftly. I yield the floor to the esteemed members of the Chamber, for the purpose of hearing nominations for the Office of El Presidente.